Mandatory Personal Growth

It's Labor Day so the company is closed. You'd think I would take this opportunity to learn something about Labor Day, but nope I'm probably just eating an entire block of cheese. I'm really trying to get through my entire life without learning anything or growing as a person. (Unless "growing as a person" means "getting fat" in which case, yes I'm into personal growth.)

I hope you just sent me this email to read my OOTO message because this is a Federal Holiday. I'm not an attorney but I'm pretty sure that means it's illegal to work so I wouldn't risk it. Please go get some glitter cannons or whatever this holiday is for. I will get back to you on Tuesday.