Executive Time

Greetings from the land of executive time, citizens! I'm out practicing the quintessential American pastime of enjoying a three-day weekend by doing my best impression of a president. You know, kissing people's babies and pretending to know what I'm doing. Probably a lot of golf... something about crossing the Delaware, etc, etc.

I'm just kidding about the babies, they can't even vote. I'm not a weirdo.

I am in fact skydiving on Saturday so this may be the last you hear from me. If I survive, I'll be binge watching murder documentaries while wearing a powdered wig just like our forefathers.

Your email, much like Congress during a filibuster, will be temporarily delayed until I return on Tuesday, February 20. Then I will respond to your email with the authority of an executive order, wielding the power to influence, direct, and maybe even change the course of your day. MAYBE.

Thank you for your participation in the democratic process of my inbox.