Drinking for America

Our office is closed on Wednesday, July 4, 2018 to observe Independence. I will be enjoying a traditional American tequila-mimosa breakfast. Then I will contemplate freedom and why I'm always using it to do stuff I don't want to do. Like grocery shop, for example. I may also participate in a SUPER American sport like baseball or competitive hotdog eating. (I'm actually sort of a champion when it comes to eating for sport. Or eating for any reason... I'm like, so fun at barbecues.)

If I don't fall victim to a stray firework or get hospitalized for eating too many hotdogs, then hangover me will totally be back in the office on July 5! Regular me will be back all recovered and ready to drink for America again on Friday night. Like a patriot!

If your email is urgent, you can try contacting (coworker). If he is not too busy petting dogs who are afraid of fireworks, he may get back to you. But the dogs come first, obviously. Happy 4th of July!