Beneath the Reef

Maybe suffering is the meaning of life and I’m doing it right.

The universe doesn’t even know you exist.

If life teaches us anything it’s that life teaches us nothing.

I'm basically just carbs and nihilism at this point

If I die reading my email and go to Hell it’s going to take me years to figure out I’m dead.

Of course the apocalypse is my retirement plan, I wasn’t born rich

No more working to enhance my resume, from now on, I’m going to focus on a kick ass obituary.

I am living my best life and it’s horrible

I am not depressed, I’m just an adult.

Being alive really stresses me out

I wish these doomsday prophecy people would quit getting my hopes up

I’m having less of a midlife crisis and more of a midlife reign of terror.

I never thought living in the future would be this horrible.

It’s disturbing to meet someone who enjoys living life.

The universe is an ongoing explosion. That's where you live. In an explosion.

*about to die* Me: AAAAAAHHHH!! *life flashes before my eyes* Me: Oh, right.

From now on im living a life of adventure *gets on conference call* Yes the reports will be in by noon

You only live once but if you suffer enough it seems to last longer so there's that.

when u think about it, the only really bad part about having no money is being alive

The world actually did end in 2012. You’ve all been dead since.

When I say “my life partner” I’m referring to my student loans.

If I get murdered please arrest the person who goes on tv and says I had “a zest for life.” I don’t care if they’re the killer but I don’t want my memory disrespected like that.

i don’t know how people can just exist and not freak out about it

Once you’ve ruined your life you stop stressing about it.

Insomnia so bad I probably can't even die

You ever get the feeling that the best joke you'll ever make is your entire life?

Life is hard, but on the other hand, it's bad

I'm not afraid of death cuz decomposition is my best chance for getting really skinny.

I just don’t have time to live my best life

Spend all your time doing mundane shit, it's not like life is precious and fleeting

Cheer up, you still have decades of disappointment and misery ahead of you.

Fake it til u die

I'm just going to pretend my whole life never happened.

Adulthood is just paying bills and being attacked by the foods you like